We are still about ten weeks out from deployment. Ten weeks. To some that may sounds like a long time, to me I'm afraid to blink ~ I'm afraid if I do then those ten weeks will be gone. If feels as if someone has hit the fast forward button on my life and no matter how much begging I do they won't take their finger off that button. I've (we) been through this before, this time it shouldn't be that hard. In fact I have convinced myself that this deployment will be easier. Like I said, we have all been through this before and the kids are all at a better age. That is what I tell myself. However, the insomnia I have been having over the last two weeks is telling me a different story. I tell myself that Boy 1 is at a good place. Although he is 14 and he going to start driving while his daddy is gone, life will be OK. He is a good kid, makes good grades and adores his siblings even if he doesn't express it the way I would like to see it on a daily basis. However if anyone messes with his siblings he has no problem having a little 'come to Jesus' meeting with them. I hate the pressure this upcoming deployment will put on him. I already see him stepping into that 'protector' role. Girl, oh Girl. She is daddy's little girl. She adores that man. Even when daddy goes TDY (temporary duty station, business trip for you civilians) for a week, she cries. Last deployment she would just break out in tears at the strangest of moments and when I ask why she would say through sobs, "I miss Daddy". I expect nothing less of her this next deployment. Boy 2 ~ oh how I worry about this boy. He has already started biting his nails down so low they bleed. With deployment looming and being talked about more in our house these past few weeks he has voiced many times that he doesn't want his daddy to go. Last deployment not only did he bite his nails but he also lost perfect little circle patches of hair. The doctor and hairdresser both told me it was stress related. At least this deployment he is verbalizing a little better. I hope this helps him. Boy 3 ~ I don't think he fully gets it yet. He was so young during the last deployment it didn't seem to faze him as much as the other children. I have no idea what to expect from him. As for me I will take care of my personal family first and my Army family second. I will have lots of sleepless nights. I will send lots of care packages. I will miss my husband so much it will physically hurt. I will call my battle buddy in the middle of the night. I will go nowhere without my phone. I will always answer my phone even when in a store (for those of you that know me, know I cannot stand this). My phone will become a part of me. I will know which restaurant has kids eat free night, every night of the week. I will stay inanely busy. I will cry, I will laugh, I will sing, I will scream. I will be so tired that sleep will become my friend. ( I can only hope.) I will stay Army Strong.